Title: くすぶるなにか (Something Obscure)
Circle: 凋叶棕 (Diao ye zong)
Vocals: nayuta
Arrange: RD-Sounds
Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Album: 彁
Event: Comiket 97 (2019-12-31)
Original track: ラストオカルティズム ～ 現し世の秘術師
In short: Sumireko leaves Gensokyo behind. I think this is the type of a song most of us can relate to, on some level. We all have things we left behind, and yet, they must’ve been beautiful.
“くすぶる”, besides meaning “obscure”, can also mean “smoldering”, which is the primary meaning of this word, actually. Something to remember, especially in the line “「くすぶるなにか」は 燃えている”. The more I think about it, the more “smoldering” seems to be a more fitting word here (you can even see a sort of smoke-like mist on the booklet), so I feel like we should take into account both of those versions.
振り返る景色の中に
いつかみたまぼろしの残滓 だけど
かつて見たその景色ほど
心惹くものではなかった
furikaeru keshiki no naka ni
itsuka mita maboroshi no zanshi dakedo
katsute mita sono keshiki hodo
kokoro hiku mono de wa nakatta
I look back at this scenery
And in it, I see remnants of an illusion
Yet, this isn’t the same view
That captivated me a long time ago…
手の届くことなどない
わからないまぼろしだった だけど
どうしてか手が届いたら
それはきっと終わりなんだ
te no todoku koto nado nai
wakaranai maboroshi datta dakedo
doushite ka te ga todoitara
sore wa kitto owari na nda
It’s not something within my reach
Just an illusion I didn’t understand
Yet, why’s it that if I was able to reach it
That would surely mean an end…
いつしか慣れていく
そうして死んでいく
itsushika nareteiku
soushite shindeiku
Then, I just became used to it
And then, I died
きっと誰もかもがそうやって
何かを手放していくんだ
kitto dare mo ka mo ga sou yatte
nanika wo tebanashiteiku nda
Surely everyone has done that,
Letting go of something
留まることなく
todomaru koto naku
Not staying behind
──“終幻想”
rasuto okarutizumu
The last illusion Last Occultism
それはそう呼んで いつか消えていく
sore wa sou yonde itsuka kieteiku
That’s how I called it, and now it’s disappearing
けれどそんな中にだって
「くすぶるなにか」があったんだ。
keredo sonna naka ni datte
kusuburu nanika ga atta nda.
Still, inside of that was
“Something obscure”, I’m sure
美しかった、気がする。
utsukushikatta, ki ga suru.
I think it was beautiful.
思い焦がれた、気がする。
omoikogareta, ki ga suru.
I think it was something I loved.
そんな気がする、だけかも。。。だけど。
sonna ki ga suru, dake ka mo… dakedo.
It’s just a feeling… but still.
それでも気がしただけで。
sore demo ki ga shita dake de.
But with just the fact I had this feeling.
思っていられただけで。
omotte irareta dake de.
And that I still remembered about it
素敵なんじゃないかなってね、思うよ。。。
suteki na nja nai ka natte ne, omou yo
Then it must’ve been something amazing, I think…
でもだって仕方ないよね
まぼろしをみていきてきた だけど
それだけが全てじゃないもの
それだから目を逸らしたんだ
demo datte shikatanai yo ne
maboroshi wo mite ikitekita dakedo
sore dake ga subete ja nai mono
sore dakara me wo sorashita nda
Well, nothing to do about it now
I lived on seeing illusions
But that’s not everything
That’s why I averted my gaze from it
いつしか色褪せて
どうでもよくなって
itsushika iroasete
doudemo yoku natte
Then, it just grown dull
I stopped caring about it
まぼろしなんてそんなものなんだ
いつかすり抜けていくのが
maboroshi nante sonna mono na nda
itsuka surinuketeiku no ga
It’s just an illusion; that’s all it was
Someday, it just slipped away…
あたりまえなんだ
atarimae na nda
That was obvious.
──“追幻想人”
rasuto okarutisuto
“Person, who chases after illusions Last Occultist”
かつてそう呼ばれ 生きた者たちに
katsute sou yobare ikita mono–tachi ni
There were people who called themselves that
きっと私もならんでいる
「くすぶるなにか」を抱えて。
kitto watashi mo narande iru
kusuburu nani ka wo kakaete.
And surely, I am one of them
Carrying “something obscure” with me
「くすぶるなにか」よ おまえはまだ
わたしをどこかで繋ぎとめているのか？
kusuburu nani ka yo omae wa mada
watashi wo dokoka de tsunagitomete iru no ka
That “something obscure”; you are still
Holding be back somewhere, aren’t you?
美しく 暖かく
それで 何より暴力的で
誰一人 わからない
わたしだけが叫ぶそれを
utsukushiku atatakaku
sore de nani yori bouryokuteki de
dare hitori wakaranai
watashi dake ga sakebu sore wo
So beautiful, so warm
And so violent at the same time
No one knows it
As I scream out loud
「くすぶるなにか」よ わたしはまだ
おまえに触れても許されるだろうか？
kusuburu nanika yo watashi wa mada
omae ni furete mo yurusareru darou ka
That “something obscure”; if I touched you now
Would that be okay…?
なにもかも おいてきて
それで 今更なんて
だけど きっと 今だって──
nani mo ka mo oite kite
sore de imasara nante
dakedo kitto ima datte
I’ll leave everything behind
But, even now
Surely, I have to now–
──“続幻想”
rasuto okarutizumu
“The continuing illusion Last Occultism”
それは合言葉 夢へ続く道
sore wa aikotoba yume he tsuzuku michi
This is the phrase that’ll welcome me onto the path of dreams
そしてきっといつだって
「くすぶるなにか」は 燃えている
soshite kitto itsu datte
kusuburu nani ka wa moeteiru
And surely,
That “something obscure” is still burning
──ラストオカルティズム。
rasuto okarutizumu.
Last Occultism.
けれどこの手が “それ”に触れたなら
keredo kono te ga “ sore” ni furetanara
But if my hands touch “it”
きっとまた終わってしまうのに
わたしは今でも 今でも───
kitto mata owatte shimau no ni
watashi wa ima demo ima demo
It’s going to come to an end once again
But even now, even now I-
Nazohato Translations 